D'Ann un-cut!
I was frustrated about something small, and decided to make a call to a friend who could love me while I told my truth about the situation.
As I began telling my truths, other feelings and truths came to the surface so I shared them. I began to cry and said, "this is D'Ann un-cut." the crying increased and turned into the kind of cry where it is hard to catch your breath....I was bawling. At this point I was just sharing the raw feelings that were bubbling up and not really listening to the wise person on the other end. I did remember hearing her say; "you are so loved"... I love D'Ann un-cut"...
What an amazing thing to have a loving person on the other end of the line, listening to me and loving me as I was melting down. She didn't try to change me, or tell me I shouldn't feel that way. Just complete, unconditional love without expecting anything in return.
The reason that I was crying uncontrollably was I was recognizing why I have been in so much fear and depressed; In the past when I have done something for my step-sons and they or their mother hasn't liked it, she calls my husband and yells, demands, belittles and threatens him. He then calls me, and is clearly upset because of how he was just treated and asks, "What were you thinking? Why did you________."
This obviously didn't create loving feelings between us and I found myself "running" emotionally. I got to the point, unconsciously, that I didn't even want to be around them for fear of making a mistake. I lost the desire and stopped doing things for them.
As part of running around them and my husband, I shut down in life. I became depressed and didn't want to do anything that I used to enjoy. My house became more and more cluttered and I began to eat for comfort.
I am so grateful for what I have been learning through Real Love; The unconditional love that we all want to experience. What a beautiful and amazing journey this is!!
As I began telling my truths, other feelings and truths came to the surface so I shared them. I began to cry and said, "this is D'Ann un-cut." the crying increased and turned into the kind of cry where it is hard to catch your breath....I was bawling. At this point I was just sharing the raw feelings that were bubbling up and not really listening to the wise person on the other end. I did remember hearing her say; "you are so loved"... I love D'Ann un-cut"...
What an amazing thing to have a loving person on the other end of the line, listening to me and loving me as I was melting down. She didn't try to change me, or tell me I shouldn't feel that way. Just complete, unconditional love without expecting anything in return.
The reason that I was crying uncontrollably was I was recognizing why I have been in so much fear and depressed; In the past when I have done something for my step-sons and they or their mother hasn't liked it, she calls my husband and yells, demands, belittles and threatens him. He then calls me, and is clearly upset because of how he was just treated and asks, "What were you thinking? Why did you________."
This obviously didn't create loving feelings between us and I found myself "running" emotionally. I got to the point, unconsciously, that I didn't even want to be around them for fear of making a mistake. I lost the desire and stopped doing things for them.
As part of running around them and my husband, I shut down in life. I became depressed and didn't want to do anything that I used to enjoy. My house became more and more cluttered and I began to eat for comfort.
I am so grateful for what I have been learning through Real Love; The unconditional love that we all want to experience. What a beautiful and amazing journey this is!!
Labels: Self Mastery
posted by D'Ann | 9:39 AM
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